Alaina's Update.

To all of you who have been supporting us over the past 5 months, “Thank You!”  We are lucky to have all of you.  There are so many of you out there, that it’s easier for me to write a note or a blog to keep you all up to date.  It would be impossible for us to try to contact you all one by one.  

Alaina is doing great.  She is growing by leaps and bounds, eating like her Daddy, and warming people from the inside out the whole time.  She is now eating cereal, (see lucasshutterworks.com for photos!) and sleeping through the night.  

As we’ve known from shortly after Alaina’s birth, she has two heart defects.  She has an Atrial Septal Defect, and a Ventricular Septal Defect.  Neither have been serious enough to qualify as an “emergency.”  There was a chance that they could have repaired themselves.  

In layman terms, Alaina has two holes on the inside of her heart.  One in the divider between the two top sections, and one between the two bottom sections.  There was a wide window of opportunity for medical intervention to solve the problem.  Sometimes, these issues can exist for years without the need for repair.

After a few months of monitoring, it has been determined by Alaina’s Cardiologist, that the holes are not showing any signs of fixing themselves.  Also, because of one of the holes, her lung pressure is higher than normal.  Not to the point of any emergency, but above normal none the less.

Should this go unaddressed, the lung pressures could reach a point where she would be plagued by difficulty breathing, and cyanosis for the rest of her life.  

Our cardiologist and her colleagues have reached the decision that now is the time for medical intervention.  On August 22nd, Alaina will be at The Nemours/Alfred I duPont Hospital for Children, in Wilmington Delaware for open heart surgery, where both of the holes will be repaired.  While this is a very serious procedure, it is one that is very common for children with Down Syndrome.  So common, that one doctor related it to having tonsils removed.

Certainly, heart surgery is far from being a simple throat procedure, but we understood.  

We instantly began our research on the duPont Hospital, and have been very pleased with what we have learned.  As it turns out, we know people who have had their children at this very hospital for wide variety of things, and they have all had great things to say.

On the 16th we will be there for Alaina’s presurgery exam and x-rays.  After the tests, we will have a chance to meet with the surgeon who will be taking care of her.  

We already have great relationships and respect for Alaina’s doctors and cardiologist, and we have faith in this decision, and choice of hospital.

On the 22nd, we will be staying at the Ronald McDonald House, which is on the campus of duPont.  Alaina’s surgery will only be a few hours, but we are planning on being there for 7 to 10 days.  After which, the healing process is expected to be fairly easy on her, based upon her health and growth.  

A few weeks later, this will all be behind us.  All that will be left behind is a small scar.  

For now, and until the 22nd, we are all in good spirits, and doing great.  We know this is something that has to be done, for the betterment of our child.  We are sure that this is the right thing to do, and she will make a full recovery and we can all be back to normal soon.  

In advance, we would like to thank all of you for your support.   We would like to thank our families and friends for taking care of things back home...  for taking care of our dogs, cutting the grass, doing our laundry, stocking up the kitchen, washing the car...  I’d like to thank Rachel and Chris for the Ipad that they are going to get us, so we can stay in contact with everyone back home, and stay entertained while away.  Thanks Rachel and Chris, how very thoughtful of you.

Thank you to all of you.  I don’t want to imagine how much harder all of this would be for us, without all of you.

We will be updating as often as we can, on Alaina’s condition and recovery.  Feel free to subscribe to the RSS feed on my blog page, or follow us on twitter.

Blog page:  babyisms.blogspot.com

Twitter name:  LucasShutter

Coffee. Funds. 3 AM choices.

Quick story.  I had to use a babysitter (Mimi,) to finally enjoy a cup of coffee this weekend.  Babies aren't always coffee friendly.  Don't worry, you'll learn.

This past Sunday, was Alaina's Baptism.  It was great.  Fantastic job by Pastor Brian.  She didn't even cry.
On Monday, I made a trip to the bank to deposit Alaina's gift moneys.  I had made the comment to my mom, "Boy, Alaina has more money than me, and she's only four and a half months old!"  to which she responded, "Get used to it.  She probably will, from here on in." 
She's right.  But I guess that's the whole point.  Right?  After all, we are here for the betterment of our children, and our family.  So, why shouldn't she have more than me?  I just thought it would take a little while longer! 

At 3AM, when the baby starts to stir, and you know she's about to go into full-cry mode, there are some choices that come to mind.  These are very important choices.  Allow me to present a few, that you won't want to pick. 
Learn from others' misteps.  Trust me.

1.  "Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, my wife will take care of it."  This one can be pulled off...  But its dangerous.  You must be a good actor, and know when to time the "Oh, you got it?  I was going to take care of her." 
2.  "I'm going to shake my wife to wake her up.  I woke up, and woke up my wife to tell her the baby was crying.  That means I helped out and took care of it...  right?"  No.   Don't.
3.  Neither before, nor after addressing the crying baby, is the following appropriate...  "Well, I'm up...  You're up...  Wanna have sex?" 

The longer you wait in line, the better the chance is, you are in the wrong line.

I heard it said once, that "The longer you wait in line, the more likely you are in the wrong line."  Or something like that.  I have always thought that to be true.
I'm adding a line that is similar.  "The more good days you have with a baby, the better the chance that the next day will be a day from hell."
I took a few days to settle in, and get the moral of the story, before I wrote it.  Last week, on Monday, Alaina and I had a good time.  We cruised around the country, hung out at Lackawanna State Park, it was a good time.
Tuesday, not so much.
We woke up at around normal time.  Then we spent most of the day crying and yelling at Daddy.  (That's right, not only was Alaina yelling at Daddy, and Daddy was yelling at Daddy, but even Christa was yelling at Daddy.)  Days like this come around.  The first thing you MUST remember, is you are a team.  This slipped my mind.  For example, when Christa sent a text at lunch time asking how the day was going, and my response was something along the lines of "Alaina hates me...  Life sucks...  It's about as bad as when they cancelled Scrubs."  To which she responded something like "Why?  What's wrong?"  I should have answered detailing about how I was having a hard time getting the baby to burp, and she probably has a belly ache...  but instead I answered with something like, "I have no friggen idea.  The baby has turned evil!  WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!"
You need to remember that parenting is a team effort.  Did my ranting via text message to my wife help the situation?  Nope.  It made her day probably just about as bad as mine was.  I'm sure she felt as helpless as I was feeling, only for her, she was 30 mins from home.
You need to stick together.  Now, I can't imagine what this job must be like for a single parent.  I really can't.  I used to think "parents" in general were the only heros...  But you single parents really must be miracle workers.
Those of us who aren't single parents, need to remember that we aren't in this alone.  Plus, you probably have some family you can lean on during the bad days.  After all, what is family for, if not for abusing during your time of need?


Yesterday, I was asked how many times throughout the night Alaina wakes up.  They were shocked when I answered "None."  They were amazed when I talked about how she will go to sleep around 10, and not usually wake up until 6 or 7.
I wish I didn't say it.
1am, almost on the dot...  I awake to the "shrieking eels."  Maybe she was having flash backs to last Tuesday, maybe she was upset about how Daddy didn't get an Ipad for Fathers Day...  I have no idea.  But the cry that burst out, slapped me with visions of the dog gnawing on her arm, or something.  Nope.  Nothing.
She was only awake for a few minutes, just long enough to wake Daddy up totally, from what seemed like a fantastic sleep.  5 minutes of rocking the cradle, and back to sleep.  If only it was that easy for me to fall back to sleep.
Then came 6am.  Just as it seemed like I was getting back to sleep, Alaina decides its breakfast time.
I know, I know.  I can hear you from here.  "Even after your 1am wake up call, you were still able to get 5 hours of sleep!  I haven't had 5 hours of sleep since I was 8 months pregnant!"  I know, I get it.  But let's face it...  We are spoiled!  Alaina is almost 4 months old, and the three of us sleep through the night.
Almost sounds like the lottery, doesn't it?


Mommy and Daddy went to the Taste of Pennsylvania (or something like that) wine festival at Splitrock, on Saturday.  Why am I telling you?  To gloat really.
My point with us going to the wine festival, is this...  We CAN and DO still do things.  Things we like to do.  Were we able to pass out, under the pines, only to wake up Sunday morning, wondering where we parked the car?  Not really.  But we still had a great time.
Last week...  we went to a movie.  Yep.  We still do things.
(It should have been dinner and a movie...  buuuuuuut...  let's not point fingers at the baby.  That's all I have to say.)
Having a baby doesn't mean your life is over.  You can still do things you like to do.  Sometimes it just takes a little bit of planning, or a babysitter.  Most of the things you like to do, can be done with a baby.  Like riding a motorcycle.  Baby Bjorns fit nicely under your leather jacket, if you don't zip it up all the way.  Ohhhhhh I'm only kidding.  DON'T DO THAT.  (I thought about putting a doll in the Bjorn and riding around the block...  I wonder how that would go.)

Three nuggets of baby raising wisdom.

Once more unto the breach...
Today, while technically Sunday, is my Friday.  Basically, at 3pm when I punched out from work, I punched in for work at the Daddy Day Care.  It's impossible to try to guess what's coming my way.  Here goes nothing.

While waiting for a review of Alaina's favorite two days of the week, I present some things I've discovered since my last confession.

- Regardless of how long you will be gone from your house, you will overpack.  You will be taking along way too much stuff.  Wayyyyy too much stuff.
This one probably doesn't need too much explanation.  It's just going to happen.  Regardless of what you do, you will take too much stuff.  Sure, you need to be prepared for whatever your little one will throw your way... but, trust me...  You aren't moving away from home, and you will be back home sooner than you think.
We took the baby out in the car for a few hours on Friday, and we ended up with the following in the car with us.  One baby bag, bursting at the seams.  One large container of formula.  Two bottles.  Three different outfits.  Two pairs of pajamas.  Ten or so diapers.  A toy or two.
We used the following...   One outfit, one diaper, one bottle and burp cloth.

- There is one perpetual tie in the course of family-dom.  I don't think I can say which is the winner.  This one is way to close.
It takes about as long to get the baby ready to go out, as it does to get Mommy out the door.  It is also just about as challenging.  I'm just saying.

-  I'm now 32.  We've had a baby for three and a half months.  Having a baby, will not make the word "nipple" any less funny.

Nipple.

Here's a photo from our Friday on the road.

3 Months, 1 Week, 6 Days. (Getting caught up. This is the last of the long blogs. I promise.)

Time to get caught up.

Over the last three months, life sure has changed.  Of course, for the better.  (At least that's what we're supposed to say!)  The word "change" can instantly throw people into a panic attack.  Most of the time, change is tough and sometimes painful.  It is almost always uncomfortable, but only for a little while.  Sometimes there are changes that may not have been on your terms, negative changes.  This is the opposite.

Our having a baby is the most positive change anyone can hope for.  There comes a time in life, when it becomes time to turn the page.  It was a decision my wife and I made together, and it was the right one.
While this is the most amazing, most powerful, most positive event anyone can experience, doesn't mean it doesn't come with growing pains.
 
Collectively, our little family is probably the most easy going people you might ever have the blessing of meeting.  Even the baby is easy going.  We are always happy and smiling.  So we always have a way of finding the silver lining.

That being said, I'm having a hard time finding the plus side to my lack of sleep.  (I would love to be having a glass of wine right now, instead of a strong cup of coffee.)  Aside from not being able to sleep in on my days off anymore, I find that I can't really run my days the way I used to.
Waking up late in the morning, and grabbing a cup of coffee as I hit the road in search of photographs, hasn't exactly happened recently.  I remember that this was part of the conscious decision we made.  The commitment we both made.  So, I always accept it.  It doesn't mean I have to be happy about it, so I chalk it up as part of the growing pains.  I don't feel guilty for not always having a smile on my face.  Because this is change...  Again, while it's certainly for the best, it's not always going to be fun.

In due time, I will be able to return to the road with my camera, with Alaina in the backseat as my copilot and assistant.  I suppose this is something I could already do.  It's just the adjustment to, and the planning that I'm getting used to.  (Plus I don't think she can hold the wireless flash yet.)  In due time.

There are plenty of people out there, that will try to convince you otherwise.  They will tell you things like, "You're life is over!"  "You will never be able to do anything you used to, ever again!"  "Ohhhh kiss your traveling goodbye, no more vacations for you!"  "So much for buying a brothel in Amsterdam!"  "Sell your motorcycle!"  Just do what I do...  Give them a nod, let it in one ear, out the other, and keep walking.  Not everyone makes the right decisions in life.  Some people made choices at the wrong times in their lives.  Some people, are just assholes, and there's nothing more to it.  Someone will always disagree with you.  It doesn't mean they are right.  It all comes back to the scary word "change."  Some can handle it, some can't.  I can tell you, it doesn't take as much as you might think.  You can handle it.

Other than the Ups and Downs of Change, I've leaned a few other things over the past 3 months, 1 week and 6 days.  Here are a few.

- Babies are many things as newborns.  They are all beautiful, smell nice (most of the time), have soft skin, look at you with huge virgin eyes...
Babies are the furthest thing from patient.
I have no idea why I still say it, but when the baby is starting to fuss and is hungry, I say things like "Hang on baby...  almost done making this bottle."  or "Just give me one more minute."  or  "Sweet Jesus, please help me!"  "I'm hurrying!"  "When I was growing up, we went hungry for weeks, until Daddy would return from the mountains with the squirrel he shot, and we would share it amongst the 3 of us (they didn't find Rachel yet) and we was lucky if we had that!"
You have to be prepared for the next wave of hunger.  Do yourself a favor, and have the bottle already made.  Because if you mistime it...  whoa boy.
Go ahead and say "Hang on just one more second."  At least your neighbors will know you are at least trying to stop the screaming baby.

- Gravity.  Path of least resistance.
These two are together, because I learned them both at the same time.
When there is a leak in anything, it will be found.  The same can be said about diapers.  This, as it turns out, was the path of least resistance.  Gravity came in to play next...  as it pulled the leakage from the diaper's path of least resistance, down onto my lap, and then onto the couch.  The funny part about a baby, is that they are human and have roughly the same temperature as you do.  So does their excreted fluids, and solids (or semisolids.)  Needless to say, because there wasn't much temperature change, I didn't notice.  Not until I stood up from the couch, to finally go out for dinner.  That's when I discovered the puddle.
I just wish it was pee.

- Interactions with your new baby are priceless.  Smiles from her when you come home from work.  Little tiny coo's that are on the edge of a giggle when Mommy is yelling at Daddy for falling asleep while making supper.  Baby farts.  It's all cute.  One of my short lived favorites, was when Alaina would reach up and touch my face.  She'd slide a cute little finger around my nose, then to my mouth, all while she smiles from ear to ear.  I was happy as a clam, and almost to the point of a manly, happy tear.  Then as if on command, those little tiny chubby cute fingers that are holding my lip, turn into talons.  My almost manly, happy tear quickly turns into real tears because the Wolverine now has a death grip on my lower lip.
Those cute little fingers, have cute little tiny razor blades on the ends of them.  Don't believe me?  Stick your face into a baby's crib, and see how you come out.

- Time flies.
Alaina is 3 months, 1 week, and 6 days old today.  I only use that information to mark where we are together.  I have learned not to count.  I know that you have to remember all of the things you have gone through together.  Don't worry, you will never forget.  But what you don't have to do, is count the past.  It's good to remember, good to know where you are, but most importantly to look forward to where you are going and haven't been yet.
You will find your own lessons to prove this point.  It took me 32 years to finally learn it.  I think having a baby helped me with that.
Here's a shocker...  Your baby will always be your baby, but won't always be a baby.  Time flies.  There's nothing you are going to be able to do to slow it down.  What you can do, is grab ahold of today, and drive it into tomorrow.
Stop counting.  Stop looking back, and look forward.  Tomorrow's going to be a good time.

A good time, unless of course, the leaky diaper lesson comes back around.

Objective

Anyone can buy a book that will tell you what to expect with a baby.  Anyone who has had a baby, can write a book about what to expect with a baby.  Will this blog be any different?  Probably not.  You will get those same lessons, but from my point of view instead.

Every week, I am left alone with Alaina, our daughter, for two days.  By ourselves.  Just her, our two dogs,  and Me to run the whole show.  Christa, my lovely bride, has normal days off from work.  I do not.  Our days off differ, so we only need to rely on my Mom, (Alaina's Mimi) for three days a week of babysitting.  Christa gets two days with Alaina, I get two days, and Mimi gets three.  Very convenient, when it comes to day care...  Because Mimi's come free.  Thanks Mimi.

You probably won't find many stories or lessons from the days in which Christa or Mimi are watching the baby.  Mimi has been a Mom for over 30 years, and Christa has recently joined the Motherhood Club.  By default, they are Moms, and are pretty much ready for anything.  There isn't much a Mom can learn, that she doesn't already know.

Me, on the other hand...  Well...  I'm a Father.  A new Father.  I'm learning new lessons, all day long, 2 days a week, every week.  Not that I, or any Father for that matter, is inept.  We just aren't Moms.  

I'm not going to share everything I learn, on my two days with the baby.  After all, you have to learn these things on your own as well.  I want to make sure there are some surprises left.  You need to discover things on your own too.  It makes it more fun.

One other thing...

I LOVE being a Father.  I LOVE my family.  At no point in these posts, should you assume I am complaining.  These posts are intended to be lighthearted and funny insights into my twice a week activities with my wonderful daughter.  

The experience of entry into parenthood, is a wonderful whirlwind of laughter and tears and dirty diapers and smiles and pride, etc...  There isn't a negative aspect to be found.  Unless you count the puddle of baby poop on your jeans...  But we'll get to that!