Time to get caught up.
Over the last three months, life sure has changed. Of course, for the better. (At least that's what we're supposed to say!) The word "change" can instantly throw people into a panic attack. Most of the time, change is tough and sometimes painful. It is almost always uncomfortable, but only for a little while. Sometimes there are changes that may not have been on your terms, negative changes. This is the opposite.
Our having a baby is the most positive change anyone can hope for. There comes a time in life, when it becomes time to turn the page. It was a decision my wife and I made together, and it was the right one.
While this is the most amazing, most powerful, most positive event anyone can experience, doesn't mean it doesn't come with growing pains.
Collectively, our little family is probably the most easy going people you might ever have the blessing of meeting. Even the baby is easy going. We are always happy and smiling. So we always have a way of finding the silver lining.
That being said, I'm having a hard time finding the plus side to my lack of sleep. (I would love to be having a glass of wine right now, instead of a strong cup of coffee.) Aside from not being able to sleep in on my days off anymore, I find that I can't really run my days the way I used to.
Waking up late in the morning, and grabbing a cup of coffee as I hit the road in search of photographs, hasn't exactly happened recently. I remember that this was part of the conscious decision we made. The commitment we both made. So, I always accept it. It doesn't mean I have to be happy about it, so I chalk it up as part of the growing pains. I don't feel guilty for not always having a smile on my face. Because this is change... Again, while it's certainly for the best, it's not always going to be fun.
In due time, I will be able to return to the road with my camera, with Alaina in the backseat as my copilot and assistant. I suppose this is something I could already do. It's just the adjustment to, and the planning that I'm getting used to. (Plus I don't think she can hold the wireless flash yet.) In due time.
There are plenty of people out there, that will try to convince you otherwise. They will tell you things like, "You're life is over!" "You will never be able to do anything you used to, ever again!" "Ohhhh kiss your traveling goodbye, no more vacations for you!" "So much for buying a brothel in Amsterdam!" "Sell your motorcycle!" Just do what I do... Give them a nod, let it in one ear, out the other, and keep walking. Not everyone makes the right decisions in life. Some people made choices at the wrong times in their lives. Some people, are just assholes, and there's nothing more to it. Someone will always disagree with you. It doesn't mean they are right. It all comes back to the scary word "change." Some can handle it, some can't. I can tell you, it doesn't take as much as you might think. You can handle it.
Other than the Ups and Downs of Change, I've leaned a few other things over the past 3 months, 1 week and 6 days. Here are a few.
- Babies are many things as newborns. They are all beautiful, smell nice (most of the time), have soft skin, look at you with huge virgin eyes...
Babies are the furthest thing from patient.
I have no idea why I still say it, but when the baby is starting to fuss and is hungry, I say things like "Hang on baby... almost done making this bottle." or "Just give me one more minute." or "Sweet Jesus, please help me!" "I'm hurrying!" "When I was growing up, we went hungry for weeks, until Daddy would return from the mountains with the squirrel he shot, and we would share it amongst the 3 of us (they didn't find Rachel yet) and we was lucky if we had that!"
You have to be prepared for the next wave of hunger. Do yourself a favor, and have the bottle already made. Because if you mistime it... whoa boy.
Go ahead and say "Hang on just one more second." At least your neighbors will know you are at least trying to stop the screaming baby.
- Gravity. Path of least resistance.
These two are together, because I learned them both at the same time.
When there is a leak in anything, it will be found. The same can be said about diapers. This, as it turns out, was the path of least resistance. Gravity came in to play next... as it pulled the leakage from the diaper's path of least resistance, down onto my lap, and then onto the couch. The funny part about a baby, is that they are human and have roughly the same temperature as you do. So does their excreted fluids, and solids (or semisolids.) Needless to say, because there wasn't much temperature change, I didn't notice. Not until I stood up from the couch, to finally go out for dinner. That's when I discovered the puddle.
I just wish it was pee.
- Interactions with your new baby are priceless. Smiles from her when you come home from work. Little tiny coo's that are on the edge of a giggle when Mommy is yelling at Daddy for falling asleep while making supper. Baby farts. It's all cute. One of my short lived favorites, was when Alaina would reach up and touch my face. She'd slide a cute little finger around my nose, then to my mouth, all while she smiles from ear to ear. I was happy as a clam, and almost to the point of a manly, happy tear. Then as if on command, those little tiny chubby cute fingers that are holding my lip, turn into talons. My almost manly, happy tear quickly turns into real tears because the Wolverine now has a death grip on my lower lip.
Those cute little fingers, have cute little tiny razor blades on the ends of them. Don't believe me? Stick your face into a baby's crib, and see how you come out.
- Time flies.
Alaina is 3 months, 1 week, and 6 days old today. I only use that information to mark where we are together. I have learned not to count. I know that you have to remember all of the things you have gone through together. Don't worry, you will never forget. But what you don't have to do, is count the past. It's good to remember, good to know where you are, but most importantly to look forward to where you are going and haven't been yet.
You will find your own lessons to prove this point. It took me 32 years to finally learn it. I think having a baby helped me with that.
Here's a shocker... Your baby will always be your baby, but won't always be a baby. Time flies. There's nothing you are going to be able to do to slow it down. What you can do, is grab ahold of today, and drive it into tomorrow.
Stop counting. Stop looking back, and look forward. Tomorrow's going to be a good time.
A good time, unless of course, the leaky diaper lesson comes back around.
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